My little baby is going to school!!! I think I’m having more separation anxiety than Kyra. It’s sad but my anxiety stems from a few reasons. I’ll no longer be her only teacher – she’s going to adore and worship these other women coming into her life. Also, I’m sad to let her go at this juncture because our relationship has been pretty rocky.
I end 2013 with some regrets and heartache. One question I often get is, “How is Kyra adjusting to Zach?” I’d say that she’s adjusting quite well and she really loves her little brother, showering him with hugs and kisses. But I think with the arrival of Zach, my relationship with Kyra has gotten quite strained. Since the pregnancy, well-meaning family members have tried to “relieve” Kyra off me – carrying her when she demanded to be carried, attending to her needs and wants, and I can just relax in a corner. Not that I didn’t enjoy this treatment, but I now think that maybe starting from then, she has felt that I no longer love her as much or at least, no longer available for her. Added to that, I’m still the disciplinarian. This situation has prompted some very heartbreaking comments from her lately, like “Mummy, don’t love me” (ie. I don’t want Mama to love me) and “Mama loves Zach, Papa loves Kyra”.
So anyway, it’s the time of the year again where we reflect upon the past year and promise to do better for the next. I want to start 2014 with a few resolutions and I’m excited to reclaim lost ground with my baby.
- Start and end each day with a hug and kiss.
- Bend down to her level and have eye contact.
- Carry her as much as she still wants me to, before it becomes physically impossible.
- Put away my handphone and ipad (or books and magazines) when I’m with her and just be with her.
- Focus on building character.
- Play with her.
While surfing around, I found some pretty nice ideas that I want to try this year! I want to start a Blessings/Thanksgiving jar where we will write things that we are grateful for everyday (or as often as we can remember).
[Click on the pictures to go to the original sites]
I hope 2014 will be a better year for all of us! We are all good Mamas and can only get better. 🙂
No matter how old you are, Mama loves you very much and you’ll always be my baby. I will do better to show love in a way that you understand but I’ll still discipline you (firmly but not harshly) because that’s part of love. I know you’ll enjoy school very much and I hope you grow up secure and confident, knowing that you are God’s prized possession and Mama and Papa’s pride and joy, always.